I wish People Could See

This is a little different format than I usually write. I was tired and was having a particular difficult day at work. I was frustrated in my interactions with people and I just started writing this poem in my mind. By the end of the work day, I had written this poem in the Notes app on my phone. In the poem I talk about the frustrations of having High Functioning Autism. I look and act completely “normal” but inside I’m struggling. For those of you not on the Spectrum, I hope this’ll give you some insight. And for those of you on the Spectrum, do my words also resonate with you?

I wish people could see

That it’s hard but I’m trying.

I wish people could see

That I’m smart but I think visually.

I wish people could see

That I’m trying my best to be kind and respectful but speaking with grace is difficult for me.

I wish people could see

That I am funny and witty but I process things slower.

I wish people could see

That I have special needs but I am no more special than they.

I am who God made me to be.

But people can’t see.

Because people don’t understand.

Author: Lindsey Horton

Lindsey was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in her late twenties after graduating from college and struggling to find and hold down a job. She loves spending time with her family and strives to be a faithful follower of Christ. On her downtime, she enjoys relaxing with a movie or keeping up with her TV shows. Lindsey also enjoys reading and collecting more books than she has time to read. Her life verse is 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

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  90. “Do you trust me?””What are you going to do?” she asked with a half smile.”Do you trust me? he insisted.With a sigh, “yes”.”Close your eyes.” She did so, slowly, the smile still on her lips. Taking a breath, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.At first, he was merely kissing that smile. Firm, nervous. Soon, however, those perfect lips softened. Then parted slightly. Slowly, furtively his tongue tasted the inside of her lip. His gentle probe meeting no resistance, he pressed further. As he did, her lips parted more fully and their tongues met. Both sighing as their…
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  91. I smirked as I unbuttoned the rest of my shirt. I threw it to the washing pile. My breasts fell out as I unhooked my bra. It followed my shirt to the pile. I stroked his hair and closed my eyes. His palm grabbed and squeezed my full youthful breasts. I stood him up and demanded he get naked as soon as possible… that I’d time him. I smirked enjoying the game. Before I could blink he was naked. He looked great. I was still in my school stockings and tartan skirt, my cock and his meeting like a draw bridge between us. He grabs my tits again as though he’d never seen a pair before. Maybe he…
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  93. You looked up from the checklist and gave me the most adorable smile that said, “I hate you” and “I love you” at the same time. I walked around the cart and wrapped my arms around you. “We’re just about done” you said as you looked up at me and smiled. “THANK GOD, finally” I said as i pulled you close and faked a dramatic death on your shoulder. You broke my grip and hit me in the shoulder with the little black notepad, “stop whining, you big baby”, “Marines don’t whine, you just take FOR-EV-ER” I made sure I over annunciated every syllable. You rolled your eyes and walked past toward the…
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  95. I know from talking with her that she is divorced. Her husband left her a few years ago for a younger 20 something model. She has always flirted with me and I have flirted back. It was about quarter to five when my phone rang. It was Kristen, she told me she is about an hour and half away and that she would stop by and bring me the information. Six o’clock came in no time and I got up to freshen up. Everybody had left the office. It made me mad that I was working so many damn hours and everyone else leaves at five. As I walked out of the men’s room, I looked out the door and saw…
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